How to Start Meditating — Forget Doing It Perfectly

I’ll be honest — when I first started meditating, I thought I was doing it wrong. I’d sit there, trying to summon inner peace, and instead, my mind would spiral through my to-do list, last night’s awkward conversation, or whether I left the stove on.

But here’s the thing: meditation is not about stopping thoughts or achieving some mystical Zen state. It’s about training the mind to develop what experts call ‘a balanced awareness‘—the ability to observe thoughts without being ruled by them.

If you’ve ever resisted trying meditation because you think you “can’t do it right,” you’re not alone. But let’s bust that myth. Meditation has nothing to do with perfection. It’s simple. You show up for yourself, one breath at a time.

Why Meditation Isn’t About Emptying Your Mind

One of the biggest misconceptions about meditation is that you’re supposed to silence your thoughts entirely. Spoiler: that’s impossible. The mind thinks—that’s what it does. 

But, according to Dr. Amishi Jha, a professor of psychology at the University of Miami and author of Peak Mind, the real goal of meditation is to cultivate focused attention and mental clarity, not an empty head.

“You’re training your mind to return to the present moment, over and over again. That’s the practice,” Jha explains. “Even if you have to bring your attention back a hundred times in ten minutes, that’s still meditation.”

Studies show that meditation can strengthen the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and emotional regulation.

A 2018 study in Frontiers in Psychology found that regular meditation improves cognitive function and stress resilience. And all you have to do is sit and breathe.

How to Start Meditating (Without Feeling Like a Fraud)

Starting is simple: find a quiet spot, set a timer for 5-10 minutes, and breathe. Your mind will wander, and that’s fine. When it does, gently bring your focus back to your breath. The key is not to judge yourself.

Sharon Salzberg, a meditation teacher and author of the bestseller Real Happiness, suggests using an anchor—like the sensation of the breath, a mantra, or even the feeling of your feet on the ground.

“If your mind wanders, don’t be concerned. Notice whatever has captured your attention, then let go of the thought or feeling, and return to the awareness of the breath,” Salzberg explains in her article “Just Sit.”

If sitting still feels impossible, try walking meditation. Thich Nhat Hanh, the late Buddhist monk and mindfulness expert, taught that mindful walking—paying attention to each step and breath—can be just as powerful as sitting. The main thing is that you meditate.

Breathwork: The Secret Weapon for Instant Calm

Let’s talk about the magic of breathing. While meditation is often associated with breath awareness, breathwork takes it a step further. Research shows that controlling your breath can directly influence your nervous system, reducing stress and elevating your mood.

A 2023 study published in Cell Reports Medicine found that slowing the breath to six breaths per minute activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the body. One of the easiest ways to alleviate anxiety, says Stanford neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Huberman, is to exhale for longer than your inhalations.

A quick-n-easy technique is the 4-7-8 method: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. Another favorite is box breathing which is used by Navy SEALs—inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4.

Meditation and Breathwork: The Perfect Pair

While meditation builds long-term mental resilience, breathwork offers an immediate reset. Dr. Patricia Gerbarg, co-author of The Healing Power of the Breath, explains that breathwork can regulate emotions in minutes. “Controlled breathing practices help balance the autonomic nervous system, leading to enhanced emotional regulation and physiological calm.”

The best part? You can do both anywhere. Meditation doesn’t require incense, a Himalayan retreat, or a chanting guru—just a few minutes of stillness. And breathwork is no different. Just a few deliberate breaths in and out will do the trick—no yoga studio required.

Just Start… and Keep Going

Meditation is about showing up, breathing, and returning to the present moment again and again, no matter how messy your thoughts are. Pair it with breathwork, and you have a powerful toolset for managing stress and getting clear.

So, sit down, close your eyes, and take a breath. All that matters is that you start.