Home Alone Soon to Be “Stoned Alone”

Everyone who has lived in the United States during the Christmas season has seen Home Alone. The reason why is a question philosophers debate along with the many other great questions of our day. The shorter answer is that basic cable has shown the holiday ‘classic’ roughly every hour on the hour from the day after Thanksgiving until the 1200th day of Christmas. You literally can not watch TV in December and miss it.

The film is a series of suspensions of disbelief from the idea that two robbers are willing to risk life and limb to rob a random suburban home, to the idea that these two robbers survive the machinations of this young psychopath. Of course the film begins with the biggest suspension of disbelief of all, which is that mom has forgotten one of her children. For the record, she has several but not several hundred. Many have speculated about how this could happen but Ryan Reynolds has a theory. His parents must have been terribly stoned that morning. It makes sense when you think about it. The holidays are stressful for everyone and so much more so for those people inundated with family members. Plus, a key plot point is that their alarm went off late, so their morning THC intake was probably rushed and not in the doses they were accustomed to.

To this end, Deadline is reporting that Fox is developing a new film titled un-creatively, Stoned Alone. The plot apparently centers around a 20 something Cannabis grower who misses his flight for his holiday ski trip. The main weed aspect of the film centers around Reynolds, after he decides to over indulge in marijuana in an effort to get through being home alone, when all of a sudden the paranoia sets in. That’s when the thieves break into his home and he has to stop them at whatever cost!

It would be fun if the film took the progressive attitude that the reason the main character can’t call the police is because he is stoned. This just highlights the issue that by criminalizing a non-violent behavior people can become victims of violence from others. People must operate in an anarchistic world absent of civilized behavior, because they just want to relax after a long week. However, it will probably more likely be an excuse for Ryan Reynolds to take his shirt off, make a bunch of silly weed jokes and engage in slapstick humor that would actually kill people in the real world. We can dream though…we can dream.

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For those of us trying to remember what this film was about, here are the two relevant trailers.