Four Types of Introverts You Didn’t Know Exist

Darrin, a good friend of mine, said the other day, “Huxley, you realize this is the fourth time you’ve said you’ll come to a party with me but then you can’t go for one reason or another? I’m seeing a pattern here. You might be an introvert.”

I was taken aback by this. I’d never considered myself an introvert. I figured that I’d become uncomfortable in crowds because I spent 3 years jammed in the house due to the pandemic — when so many of us lost the knack of being with people.

A quick stroll through the internet altered my notion about what an introvert is. Or should I say introverts — because there are four different types?

It’s true: Social Introvert. Thinking Introvert. Anxious Introvert. Restrained Introvert.

I fall into the first category, Social Introvert. I have all the classic symptoms. I prefer small, quiet gatherings with a few friends; you’ll never find me at Times Square on New Year’s Eve. I don’t mind being alone. I feel drained after extensive social encounters and need time to recharge my batteries. I avoid phone calls, preferring to deal with the outside world via text or social media.

My sister’s a Thinking Introvert. She cultivates her inner world through journaling, painting watercolors, or sometimes just sitting on the front porch and letting her thoughts carry her where they will. She’s a temperate person who hates being rushed and can feel overwhelmed when conversations get too hectic. She’s the only person I know who plays Monopoly by herself.

Jimi, a colleague at the agency, is the very picture of the Anxious Introvert. He seems to enjoy going out with friends but on the way home he’ll castigate himself mercilessly. He imagines that he’s said something offensive or wrong. Or didn’t say the right thing. Or said the right thing in the wrong way. He’s as sensitive to the vibe of a social setting as he is perceptive. He’s one of the most perceptive people I know, so you can guess how sensitive he is.

My college friend, Clara, is a Restrained Introvert. Their response to a question is always a considered one. They ruminate. They never fly off the handle. They prefer observing far more than participating and can’t stand unexpected meetings or surprise parties. Clara has her habits and ways of doing things and is uncomfortable when patterns are changed without warning. But Clara’s a terrific problem solver — if you’re ever marooned on a desert island, you’d want her there.

Dealing with being an introvert depends on how introverted you are. If you’ve got a heavy-duty case, Behavior Modification Therapy or just plain old lower-case therapy might be worth checking out. For someone like Jimi — the Anxious Introvert — it’s important to realize that you don’t have to go to a party and stay until the hosts kick you out. Pop in, see pals, then go.

Best thing I discovered is well worth writing down: Whatever form of introvert you are, it’s okay.

You don’t have to be anyone but yourself. You can set boundaries — and let your friends know. After my investigations, I gave Darrin a call and told him what I’d found out. “I thought it might be something like that,” he said. “I’d never want you to go anyplace that makes you uncomfortable. I’m glad you told me.”

As our conversation drew to a close, he asked if I was free — if I wanted to do something that night. He was going to the opening of a new club downtown — a massive scene. But he told me he’d rather drop over to my place, hang out, talk, and listen to some vinyl.

Just what I was hoping for, how did he know? I hung up and I started looking through my Miles Davis albums…